Vonkwabhat is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, unfair mongoose.

Vonkwabhat created parasitic wasps five million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkwabhat, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vonkwabhat, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Vonkwabhat's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Vonkwabhat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

5. Feed all hungry grasshopers.