Tiflamgil is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, impressive dog.

Tiflamgil created tapeworms four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiflamgil, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Tiflamgil, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tiflamgil's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Tiflamgil's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tiflamgil first in all things.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Never paint your feet orange.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.