Wikarnman is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, idiotic fish.

Wikarnman created vertebrates nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikarnman, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wikarnman, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Wikarnman's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Wikarnman's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Wikarnman three times a day.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.