Vagstikbapnarjigyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, irritating centaur.

Vagstikbapnarjigyarl created an up quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagstikbapnarjigyarl, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vagstikbapnarjigyarl, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Vagstikbapnarjigyarl's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Vagstikbapnarjigyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Hide if six birds approach from the south.