Bigmidzit is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, annoying goblin.

Bigmidzit created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bigmidzit, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bigmidzit, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bigmidzit's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Bigmidzit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always wear red.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.