Zitnigjen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, emotional wasp.

Zitnigjen created snails three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zitnigjen, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zitnigjen, he will throw large rocks at you.

Zitnigjen's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Zitnigjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Put Zitnigjen first in all things.

3. Zitnigjen must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never hurt monkeys.