Damcaddad is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unthinking hippopotamus.

Damcaddad created the Cigar Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Damcaddad, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Damcaddad, he will refuse to believe in you.

Damcaddad's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Damcaddad's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine gulls approach from the south.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always help dolphins.

4. You must never eat parsnips.

5. Do not listen to music.