Cunlanfet is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, prudent weasel.

Cunlanfet created Asia seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cunlanfet, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cunlanfet, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Cunlanfet's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Cunlanfet's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Cunlanfet.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Feed all hungry goats.

5. Never look in ponds.