Flatpibtigben is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unjust gnu.

Flatpibtigben created the Milkyway four million years ago.

If you believe in Flatpibtigben, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flatpibtigben, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Flatpibtigben's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Flatpibtigben's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never hurt birds.

4. Hide if six doves approach from the east.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.