Cisskapgupcissjat Nurtbondodcub is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, grumpy cow.

Cisskapgupcissjat Nurtbondodcub created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cisskapgupcissjat Nurtbondodcub, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cisskapgupcissjat Nurtbondodcub, he will turn you into a frog.

Cisskapgupcissjat Nurtbondodcub's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Cisskapgupcissjat Nurtbondodcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear brown boots.

2. Do not hurt badgers.

3. You must never eat pineapples.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cisskapgupcissjat Nurtbondodcub.

5. Never bounce in holy places.