Lakdimfarncussgontim is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, egotistical zebra.

Lakdimfarncussgontim created viruses two million years ago.

If you believe in Lakdimfarncussgontim, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lakdimfarncussgontim, he will be mildly annoyed.

Lakdimfarncussgontim's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Lakdimfarncussgontim's Holy Commandments

1. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Put Lakdimfarncussgontim first in all things.

3. Dolphins are not to be trusted.

4. Never wear shorts.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.