Quamcatlun is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, egotistical gnu.

Quamcatlun created the Virgo Supercluster six billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamcatlun, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quamcatlun, he will boil you in a big pot.

Quamcatlun's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Quamcatlun's Holy Commandments

1. Quamcatlun loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

2. Never mention snails.

3. Do not hurt squirrels.

4. Put Quamcatlun first in all things.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.