Volsabjad is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, self-assured pig.

Volsabjad created the planet Saturn seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Volsabjad, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Volsabjad, it will refuse to believe in you.

Volsabjad's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Volsabjad's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.