Arnartnutzak is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, merciful wren.

Arnartnutzak created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnartnutzak, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Arnartnutzak, he will not invite you to parties.

Arnartnutzak's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Arnartnutzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never eat cucumbers.

5. Never go into orange rooms.