Ratcamdit is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, all-knowing newt.

Ratcamdit created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratcamdit, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ratcamdit, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Ratcamdit's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Ratcamdit's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ratcamdit.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.