Jopsitquag is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, effective centaur.

Jopsitquag created oxygen six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopsitquag, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jopsitquag, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jopsitquag's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Jopsitquag's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jopsitquag.

2. Jopsitquag must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always help ducks in need.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.