Botvabvon is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, calm unicorn.

Botvabvon created the Small Magellanic Cloud six million years ago.

If you believe in Botvabvon, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Botvabvon, she will turn you into a puffin.

Botvabvon's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Botvabvon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never wear mauve stockings.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Run away if three whales approach from the east.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.