Yarpbagpas is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, confident wombat.

Yarpbagpas created vertebrates five million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpbagpas, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yarpbagpas, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Yarpbagpas' most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Yarpbagpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. You must love Yarpbagpas.

3. Do not wear blue clothing.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.