Tanbompan is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, weak aardvark.

Tanbompan created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanbompan, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tanbompan, she will boil you in a big pot.

Tanbompan's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Tanbompan's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into purple rooms.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never wear orange hats.

4. Never eat peanuts.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.