Midpanbarnhen is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, competent tortoise.

Midpanbarnhen created the Sombrero Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Midpanbarnhen, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Midpanbarnhen, it will think nothing of it.

Midpanbarnhen's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Midpanbarnhen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never wear mauve kilts.