Cinarfgud is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, effective bat.

Cinarfgud created humankind eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cinarfgud, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cinarfgud, she will turn you into a rock.

Cinarfgud's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Cinarfgud's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Cinarfgud's priests.

2. Run away from cyan great tits, for they are unholy.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

5. Do not stand on grass.