Jannulbagtag is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, effective donkey.

Jannulbagtag created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jannulbagtag, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jannulbagtag, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Jannulbagtag's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Jannulbagtag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair violet.

2. Never mention monkeys.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not drink alcohol.