Pakpigjigbam is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, capable goose.

Pakpigjigbam created a Higgs boson two million years ago.

If you believe in Pakpigjigbam, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pakpigjigbam, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Pakpigjigbam's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Pakpigjigbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Pakpigjigbam loves mites, so they must be honoured.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pakpigjigbam.

4. Do not hurt great tits.

5. Run away from turquoise otters, for they are unholy.