Ganjanlin is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, ruthless hummingbird.

Ganjanlin created the planet Saturn eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ganjanlin, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ganjanlin, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Ganjanlin's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Ganjanlin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never think ill of sick gulls.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not take Ganjanlin's name in vain.