Barnflagwapfat is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, cheerful porpoise.

Barnflagwapfat created the cosmos three billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnflagwapfat, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Barnflagwapfat, he will be very unhappy.

Barnflagwapfat's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Barnflagwapfat's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. You must pray to Barnflagwapfat nine times a day.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always treat mice with great respect.

5. Do not skip in public.