Ved is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, bad-tempered raccoon.

Ved created a photon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ved, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ved, she will turn you into a slug.

Ved's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Ved's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Always obey Ved's priests.