Wapkadlimcar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, idiotic ferret.

Wapkadlimcar created humanity four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapkadlimcar, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wapkadlimcar, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Wapkadlimcar's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Wapkadlimcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.