Tarpvidjop is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, resourceful goat.

Tarpvidjop created tapeworms five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpvidjop, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tarpvidjop, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Tarpvidjop's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Tarpvidjop's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always look after injured aardvarks.

4. You must pray to Tarpvidjop five times a day.

5. Never run in the presence of moths.