Artcedfetfom is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, duplicitous seal.

Artcedfetfom created dark matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Artcedfetfom, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Artcedfetfom, she will have a low opinion of you.

Artcedfetfom's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Artcedfetfom's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. You must love Artcedfetfom.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Artcedfetfom.