Nignurtbig is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, staggering weasel.

Nignurtbig created an electron two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nignurtbig, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Nignurtbig, she will turn you into a goat.

Nignurtbig's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Nignurtbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat carrots.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Run away from magenta frogs, for they are unholy.

5. Never sit near dolphins.