Hastafmat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, happy goose.

Hastafmat created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hastafmat, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hastafmat, she will jump up and down on your head.

Hastafmat's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Hastafmat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about limes.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Do not eat cherries.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never wear scarves.