Talhomjad is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, merciless zebra.

Talhomjad created the world three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Talhomjad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Talhomjad, she will turn you into a slug.

Talhomjad's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Talhomjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Erect a large tin sculpture of Talhomjad on top of all buildings.