Dobmatwik is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, kind donkey.

Dobmatwik created a strange quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dobmatwik, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dobmatwik, she will come to you in dreams.

Dobmatwik's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Dobmatwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dobmatwik.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.