Tofbumwot is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, confident gorilla.

Tofbumwot created the planet Venus seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofbumwot, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tofbumwot, he will turn you into a rat.

Tofbumwot's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Tofbumwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

5. Never go into magenta rooms.