Rantonkcissbanragben Vantinsom is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, merciful gorilla.

Rantonkcissbanragben Vantinsom created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Rantonkcissbanragben Vantinsom, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Rantonkcissbanragben Vantinsom, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Rantonkcissbanragben Vantinsom's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Rantonkcissbanragben Vantinsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.