Bassbapdap Bamlathadrap is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, amazing coyote.

Bassbapdap Bamlathadrap created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bassbapdap Bamlathadrap, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bassbapdap Bamlathadrap, he will turn you into a snail.

Bassbapdap Bamlathadrap's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Bassbapdap Bamlathadrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. You must pray to Bassbapdap Bamlathadrap nine times a day.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Run away if four porpoises approach from the west.

5. Do not stand on grass.