Listnartparkhassabditpark is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, uncaring raven.

Listnartparkhassabditpark created a bottom quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Listnartparkhassabditpark, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Listnartparkhassabditpark, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Listnartparkhassabditpark's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Listnartparkhassabditpark's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.