Flistarcem is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, annoying crab.

Flistarcem created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Flistarcem, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Flistarcem, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Flistarcem's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Flistarcem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear violet clothing.

2. Always treat mice with great respect.

3. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flistarcem.

5. Never mention ducks.