Tiffarngon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, staggering unicorn.

Tiffarngon created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Tiffarngon, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tiffarngon, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Tiffarngon's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Tiffarngon's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tiffarngon first in all things.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Never eat apples.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Run away if three sharks approach from the east.