Hitsingodfud is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, moody mouse.

Hitsingodfud created oxygen three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitsingodfud, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hitsingodfud, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Hitsingodfud's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Hitsingodfud's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. You must pray to Hitsingodfud eight times a day.

4. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

5. Do not commit murder.