Ruttzentig is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, witty slug.

Ruttzentig created a quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ruttzentig, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ruttzentig, he will not care at all.

Ruttzentig's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Ruttzentig's Holy Commandments

1. Ruttzentig loves great tits, so they must be respected.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not hurt monkeys.