Bidtunhud is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, egotistical bat.

Bidtunhud created the planet Saturn eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bidtunhud, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bidtunhud, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bidtunhud's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Bidtunhud's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

2. Hide if nine frogs approach from the east.

3. Hide from magenta birds for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Bidtunhud loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.