Figyattdib is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, uncaring cobra.

Figyattdib created the Large Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Figyattdib, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Figyattdib, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Figyattdib's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Figyattdib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not kill birds.

5. Never wear magenta hats.