Fotgepnel is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unsympathetic dog.

Fotgepnel created the planet Earth five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotgepnel, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fotgepnel, it will destroy your home planet.

Fotgepnel's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Fotgepnel's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not hurt ants.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.