Febrakquill is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witless monkey.

Febrakquill created energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Febrakquill, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Febrakquill, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Febrakquill's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Febrakquill's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always obey Febrakquill's priests.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Retreat if three whales approach from the north.