Pomkapflis Gilfabveg is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, uncaring fairy.

Pomkapflis Gilfabveg created the planet Mars eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pomkapflis Gilfabveg, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pomkapflis Gilfabveg, she will strike you with lightening.

Pomkapflis Gilfabveg's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Pomkapflis Gilfabveg's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick eagles.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.