Vedpoptipquaftinfossbim is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, charitable armadillo.

Vedpoptipquaftinfossbim created the universe four million years ago.

If you believe in Vedpoptipquaftinfossbim, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vedpoptipquaftinfossbim, he will think nothing of it.

Vedpoptipquaftinfossbim's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Vedpoptipquaftinfossbim's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick voles.

2. Never wear shirts.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never paint your neck gray.