Mobvegmet is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, almighty slug.

Mobvegmet created dark matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Mobvegmet, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mobvegmet, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Mobvegmet's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Mobvegmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear indigo hats.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never talk about dolphins.

4. Never eat peanuts.

5. Always obey Mobvegmet's priests.