Zaklapgil is a god.

He takes the form of a large, impressive seal.

Zaklapgil created the universe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zaklapgil, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zaklapgil, he will torture you forever.

Zaklapgil's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Zaklapgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. You must love Zaklapgil.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not covet oxen.