Fidtettibarn is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, egotistical chinchilla.

Fidtettibarn created the planet Jupiter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidtettibarn, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fidtettibarn, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Fidtettibarn's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Fidtettibarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never go into white rooms.

3. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not eat tomatoes.